Letters
by RayRae
Summary: What happens when Gilbert writes to Elizaveta after she gets married? What happens when Roderich finds out? And what is her response to these? This is a five-letter series that I made up while at work over the summer and worked on this week. Enjoy!
1. June 12

Mangary-

I am _so _awesome! Well, you probably knew that already, but I wanted to remind you anyway in case you forgot. Now, I will get to the point of this letter.

OH MY FUCKING GOSH! You married him! That stupid motherfucking aristocrat! Why the hell did you do such a thing? That was stupid of you, Mangary. FUCKING STUPID!

Okay, I'm sorry. I am sorry for what I said in the last paragraph. I guess I just lost my temper there. Woah. I actually apologized for my awesome paragraph. Weird. Well, I only did because I know it is not _completely _your fault for marrying the rich bastard. You have part of the blame only because you said yes to his proposal. You know, you could have just as easily said no. Why did you say yes to the fucking idiot? I am curious as to why. Please write back with an answer.

Before I finish this letter, I ask you to do one thing, just one. Do not destroy my letter. I know you would love to look at my writing and always remember how awesome I am. I have another reason, but I don't feel like explaining now.

-Gilbo


	2. June 28

Mangary-

I was _so _awesome today! I got to go to my favorite strip bar, watch some hot chicks, and of course drink beer. Definitely worth the crapload of money I spent.

Anyway, why did you not reply to my letter? Let me guess, you and Roddy-boy when on a four-day honeymoon? I bet your wedding night sucked. I also bet he was awful in bed. Yeah, I so went there!

Okay, but really, not replying to my letter, not awesome. Not awesome at all. Did you really disobey me and destroy my letter? Why Mangary, why? I am really disgruntled by that.

I just realized that I never told you my second reason why I requested you to not destroy my letter. Well, the reason is


	3. July 3

Mangary-

DAMN THAT WEST! Why did he have to interrupt me in my awesome letter writing session? Anyway, I am _so _awesome!

Okay, I am now going to explain my second reason for asking you to not destroy my letter. I…um…I love you. Argh! Why did I say um? Anyway, I do love you, really I do. That is why I got so angry with you when I heard that you married that stupid aristocratic piece of bullshit. How could you not realize that I am the one that cares for you, not him? I let you hit me on the head with your stupid frying pan, and I take it with dignity. You remember when we were children and I groped you? I feel bad about that Mangary, really I do. It is a sin to grope a woman! I learned that from Old Fritz, and I remember everything he tells me. That really says something now! –Okay Gilbert, get a grip now. Chill.-

I am sorry for the rambling outburst. I am just upset that I never told you how I felt before you got married to Roderich. I love you, Mangary. I know you would not divorce him, but I'd like you to consider my words and write back. YOU STILL DIDN'T FREAKING REPLY!

-Gilbo


	4. July 11

To Gilbert Beilschmidt-

At first, I did not mind you writing to my wife, knowing how you two were friends as children, but this has gone too far. You love her and want her to consider your words? What is there to consider?

I am assuming that you are surprised that I know about that. You see, I normally get the mail, so I have seen your letters. Before I saw the name, I knew it was you. You are the only person I know that would be moronic enough to use Scotch tape to hold your letters together instead of getting an envelope and a stamp. Anyway, I wish to make this letter brief, so I will get to the point.

Do. Not. Write. To. Elizaveta. Again. Got it? Never. Fini. No. Nein. If you think it is because of what you have said about me, then you are mistaken. Yes, I have read your letters (who knows what vile things you may have tried to say to Elizaveta.) I simply do not want you writing to her. That is all.

Sincerely,

Roderich Edelstein


	5. July 14

G.B.-

I heard about what my husband said to you, and I demanded to see the letters that he hid from me. I have read them in between working, so that's why you haven't heard from me; otherwise, I would have replied sooner. Now, to respond to a few of your comments.

Yes, I know you are awesome. No need to remind me.

I did not like you calling my husband such mean names. Just because he is wealthy doesn't mean he lives a totally aristocratic lifestyle. He's actually pretty frugal, although the rich bastard thing is true. He is rich and fatherless.

I! AM! NOT! FUCKING! STUPID! YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE WITH SHIT FOR BRAINS! What made you even think that I was stupid for wanting to marry Roderich? I wanted to marry him, so I told him yes. If you wanted to object it, then why didn't you come to the damn wedding? Really Gilbert, what you said has infuriated me. I no longer wish to write to you.

As for you loving me, I don't believe you. You suck at lying.

-E.H.E.


End file.
